The Happiness Within the Heart
by Nekomi Minosuke
Summary: Lance meets Ansem, who is currently sending the heartless to devour the world in which he resides, Lance was alone, now he isn't, but it's not Ansem he's in love with. AnsemxOOCxRiku
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This is my first Kingdom Hearts fic, I plan on making it a bit on the lemony side, Yaoi, that kind of stuff. The story is in my OOC's POV his name is Lance, but you'd figure that out soon enough, and well, it follows the original main story, kidnapping the Princess's of Heart, but it's a behind the scene type of thing, from the bad guy's side. Oh! I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own its characters. I only own Lance, and another OOC that'll be in this later on.**

_Thanks to Sumi for looking the first part of this over for me, oh, and GO SACHIEL! Yay! Sumi's my best friend on this site and you all must go read her fanfics! _

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"Wow, what a dreary place" I whispered as I walked the passages of an underground tunnel. The darkness seemed to be fidgeting all around me, like it was alive. I never knew what had happened to all of the people in the town, why they disappeared so suddenly without any warnings or explanations, leaving me alone in a world consumed by a dark aura.

It had only been two days since the disappearance of all the citizens living in the town, I knew they hadn't gone by themselves, they would've never left the peaceful town and lives they loved.

They had to have been forced to leave, kidnapped you might say, and I was determined to find out where they had been taken, I didn't care. I just wanted to thank the person who rid me of all the happiness that had surrounded me for so many years that had driven me insane and led to my cutting myself. My life had been ruined the day my parents and younger sister were killed in a car accident.

All these thoughts played over in my mind, causing the painful memories of my dead family to resurface. All this time I had sought to end the happiness that this town had made grow so strong inside itself, to end my suffering by bringing it upon the others that lived here.

I didn't mind the dreariness, it seemed somewhat comforting to know that I was finally alone. The shadows twisted all around me as I stepped through the large opening to the surface where the shadows had consumed the colors in the world, making it look like a black-and-white film, but this was real I had come to discover that I knew this place well without the color, and even smiled occasionally when I'd find that I was really alone.

"Hello boy, how is it you have survived my shadows? Do they chase or frighten you at all?" a tall man with long white-silver hair stood before me and stared down at me with a cold glare.

"So they are alive… I do not fear your shadows, they bring me comfort if anything." I announced, the man seemed pleased with my response and looked at me closely.

"Do you wish to stay with the shadows? I am in need of assistance and my shadows have devoured all of the people. You will help me of course, in return for staying in the shadows. What do you say?" The mad held out his hand to shake in agreement, I took it and my new life within the shadows began.

"I am Lord Ansem, and you young man?" The man asked, looking at me to confirm if I were to lie about my identity, though of course I had no reason to.

"Lance, Lance Zerray. Lord Ansem." I looked around, the world was slowly starting to disappear completely as I looked at it.

"Well, this world will be gone soon we must leave now." Ansem waved his hand in front of a shadow and a portal appeared there, he stepped through it and signaled that I should follow.

As I stepped out of the portal I noticed that the place we were in had very little lighting as I had hoped, light bothered me it made things seem happy and showed the people that they should not worry unless it was gone. The furnishings in the room we had entered were scarce and gave it a sort of poor look, though too much would just overdo it. Shadows moved over the walls of the castle near Ansem, and a boy stepped through an open door as I looked at the walls.

"Lord Ansem, do you- who is this?" Came the voice of the boy, he was about a year older than me with shoulder-length silver hair his jade eyes locked with my faded blue-purple in a cold stare.

"This is the new addition, Lance. He will be helping you or completing tasks on his own. Lance, this is Riku he will be showing you how to use the powers that I will give you, or you can learn how to use them yourself if you don't want to have any help, they're not hard to control if you practice." After the end of that sentence Ansem disappeared, leaving me with Riku.

"You wanna learn on your own Lance?" Riku said quietly, "Or do you want some help?"

"I'll get it on my own, I think I'll get it quickly." I stared at him with ease, he wasn't very intimidating though I bet he could prove that he wasn't going to mess around if he got mad.

I figured he'd be a little colder, but it seemed that he'd been looking for something and that he had some feelings for people, unlike me I had no feelings for anyone or anything.

"Fine, then I'll show you where you'll be staying. Follow me and don't get lost…" Riku's voice sounded like he had been angered, perhaps it was me who had upset him but that was none of my concern.

The room he led me to was large and had a lot of open space, not exactly what I wanted, but it was dark and there wasn't anything happy in it at all. Riku had said that I should get used to kneeling to Lord Ansem in spite of the hospitality he had shown me, as a show of respect. I had told him I would of course, I didn't mind kneeling to the person that saved my sanity and got rid of all the happy thoughts and people.

I walked around the room for a minute and spotted a tight black shirt and black pants with chains on them to match, these clothes were similar to mine I had been wearing all black for years and these were just a little better in ways. I walked over to the bed and laid down to think over the occurrences of the day. The covers on the bed were smooth and soft, unlike the ones I had been used to back at my deserted house, where I had stayed after my parents had died. I stripped down to my boxers and crawled under the covers, I covered my head under the blanket and fell asleep.

The next morning was nothing bad, Ansem had me train my powers, not that it was hard or anything, but I found it quite easy to manipulate the shadows. I had attempted things that Ansem thought would not be mastered for at least a week, but I had proven that I was well accustomed to using the shadows now and that I was prepared for anything. He of course, was pleased with my quick use of the shadows, but told me to train in fighting as well as that. He told me to go to a tower on the other side of the castle to meet Riku so he could teach me to fight, or we could spar, but that was my opinion. I think he was glad that Ansem had told me to go to him to learn how to fight, because as soon as I got there he started the teaching with a lunge.

I dodged the first lunge, but was too late to dodge the second hit, getting kicked in the face and hitting a wall on the other side of the room. He ran after me and tried to kick me again, this time I threw him against the wall after grabbing his foot. The sparing went on for hours, leaving both Riku and I weak and unsteady when walking, so we helped each other down the massive hallway towards the living quarters where our hallways connected. My door came first and I leaned on the wall as Riku walked slowly down the hallway to his room about a football field's length. I was surprised that Riku hadn't tried to get me to talk while our sparring match was going, he looked like a talkative type of person.

I walked into my room and fell on my bed tiredly, rubbing my eyes with my wrist and feeling the pain of bruises taking effect. Ansem would not be pleased to hear that both of his helpers had been pretty messed up in the match and this would not be good for either of us also. Riku hadn't won though, of course I hadn't won either so we had agreed on a tie match and stopped.

I ran a hand through my dark blond hair in an attempt to get it back to how it was before the sparring match. I hadn't fought that hard in a while, I had gotten into small fist-fights but those were won with ease, this fight was different, it was a challenge, and I had to do it again. These days in the castle were going to make an interesting life for me if Riku stayed around, but I had figured that Ansem had plans for him so that would mean he _would_ be around.

There was dry blood and open wounds all over my body and I needed a shower, but bed felt so good at the moment. I stood up and sighed, I needed this shower to be ready in the morning, I walked into the restroom and over to the shower. I stripped out of my clothes and turned the water on, letting the water run over my body to wash away the blood that stained my pale skin.

I had never been accustomed to living in such luxury, if that's what you would call this place. The water was warm against my cold skin, and it made me wonder why I had gotten so cold recently. I figured it was from my living in the castle, because that's when it had started. Riku had been warm in the fight though, I had found that out when he had thrown me against the wall by my foot. The water was starting to cool now and I realized that I needed to get out of the shower. I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel I dried off quickly and wrapped the towel around my waist.

Walking to the main part of my room I looked around for a pair of boxers in a nearby dresser, finding that all of the clothes in the dresser were the same. I pulled out a pair of boxers and slipped them on, I had slept like this since my parents had been killed so it was a habit. I crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over the lower half of my body so that I wouldn't get hot during the night and wake up. I'd need every ounce of sleep I could get if I was going to fight Riku the next morning, or go on a mission. Of course I doubted the latter of the two ideas, but you never know.

"Lance, get up, we've been summoned to the chapel." I heard Riku's voice near by bedside.

"Really? What time is it?" I mumbled a little, but Riku got the message and set the clock from the desk next to my bed in my hand.

"You've got eyes, look at the clock and see." Riku was teasing me, something I didn't enjoy much.

I brought the clock in front of my face and looked at it, it was almost nine. I sat up quickly and got dizzy making me lose balance for a second and almost fall back onto the pillow.

"I never sleep that long." I said as I looked at the clock, then to Riku who was staring at me with a smirk on his face.

"Hurry up and get dressed we need to be there in five minutes. I'll be waiting outside the door until you come out." He said, and with that, he walked out of the room.

I looked at the closed door then got out of bed and got dressed quickly making sure I looked somewhat presentable with the clothes I was wearing. I walked out into the hallway and found Riku, who was still smirking from my dizziness.

"Ready?" He asked quickly then turned to walk down the hallway.

"Of course." I said, looking at him to see if I could tell what he was thinking.

We walked down several halls and into the Castle Chapel where Ansem was waiting. We dropped to one knee:

"How may we serve you Lord Ansem?" We said in unison, then stood up, once again in unison.

Ansem seemed to be very upset and explained our task quickly: we were to go to wonderland and kidnap Princess Alice. We understood this task easily and left quickly when Ansem released us.

"So, Lance, you think you're ready to kidnap a princess?" Riku said with a smirk on his face.

"Of course." I said once again.

"Not much of a talker, are you Lance? We'll have to change that." Riku was pissing me off this time and I wasn't about to let him win that challenge.

"No." I answered, I tried to act as normal as possible, but my anger was getting to me this time.

I walked silently next to him for the next few minutes as we made our way to the front gate of the castle. I tried to stay as quiet as possible, but even the slightest change in the way I was breathing proved that he was paying close attention to me. He'd tell me I was being too quiet, even though we were in the castle, he didn't care much by what I could tell.

"C'mon Lance, you have to talk sometime." Riku teased.

"What do you want me to talk about? My life? My family? I don't have any!" I was beginning to think that this life here was only going to get worse.

He seemed taken aback by my words, he had a slight sign of hurt in his eyes which told me that he had lost much, just as I had. He seemed a little cold at the moment so I had decided to drop the subject.

"Ok so tell me something, why are you here Riku?" I said this quietly and Riku seemed to snap out of his emotions.

"I gave myself up to the darkness within my heart. Sora, on the other hand was naïve, he's still out there fighting the heartless… Of course I'll rid Ansem of him easily." Riku's voice was cold, filled with hatred, but not his own hatred the hatred of someone else talking through him.

He started walking down the hallway, making sure I stayed close behind, not that I didn't stay close behind anyways. He seemed to be in deep thought because he was very quiet the whole time, he didn't talk until we arrived in a small room where it was easiest to transport within the darkness.

"Ready?" He held out a hand to me and I ignored it, stepping into the shadows after him.

The portal took us to a bright place where everything was irregular, the shapes were all deformed and the light was blinding. I shaded my eyes and looked around, everything was just as I could ever hate it, all bright and joyful. Riku seemed to not mind the world at all, he just started walking towards a door. He opened the door, only to reveal another door, and the same for three more doors. When he reached the final door, he opened it quickly and slipped through, I followed close behind. We walked into another room, even more bizarre then the first, and the name suited it, "the Bizarre Room…"

"Ugh this place is disgusting…" I said as I coughed at the smell of the roses of the garden maze.

I didn't hate the smell of roses, it just hit me while I wasn't paying attention. I stayed close behind Riku as we made our way through the maze of hedges towards the sound of trumpets.

"Looks like the trial has started, we need to hurry so that we can make it there before Sora and his new friends have a chance to prove that Alice isn't the one after the Queen of Hearts' heart, c'mon Lance!" Riku started to run ahead and I took off after him to make sure I didn't lose him, I wouldn't want to get caught in this place…

As I caught up to him he motioned to the high hedges to our right.

"We'll need to stay hidden to get to Alice, she's in that cage right next to the Queen." He pointed over to a large golden cage that was set right next to the Queen's stand.

"Ok, is that your old friend Sora?" I pointed over to the brunette that was walking through the entrance to the forest, probably in search for the evidence.

"Yeah, now we can have a little fun, let's send out a few more heartless." He used some of his dark powers and conjured a vast amount of tiny heartless, then shooed them towards the entrance when they started to go to their normal size.

"What about Alice?" I was getting more confused by the minute, was he having fun or just toying with my thoughts?

"We'll get her as soon as Sora starts to fight the Queen's card henchmen. Until then we can just wait here." He leaned against the bush that extended higher than the platform of the hedge we were on and yawned.

I stretched, I had gotten more sleep then I had thought I would, my body was getting stiff at the joints so I popped my knuckles and back making a semi-loud cracking noises as I did so. Riku heard the cracking and looked at me.

"What are you doing? You getting stiff Lance?" He said with a smirk on his face, he pushed away from the bush he had been resting against and moved next to me.

"Yeah, why? I just got a little too much sleep last night, I'll be fine." I backed away a little, trying not to bring attention to myself, but Riku noticed. His lips curled into a frown and I let out a small sigh.

"Do I scare you that much Lance?" He asked this quietly, still frowning a little bit.

"Wha-? No, of course not! I just, I don't know…" My thoughts were getting mixed up, and my words were coming out in small groups.

Riku frowned a little more, then looked to the side, Sora was coming back and the trial was proved that Alice was innocent, but the queen sent her cards to fight Sora and his companions.

"Let's go!" Riku said as he got up and ran along the hedge towards the cage that Alice was being held in.

I took off after him to keep up and to help him get Alice out of here without being noticed. He stepped up to the cage and used some shadow magic to open the lock, he immediately gagged her and blindfolded her as he let her out of the cage. She tried to struggle, but he knocked her unconscious quickly and we escaped through a shadow portal.

"There, now that was easy, right?" Riku said as he put the girl in one of the large containers in a hidden area of the castle.

"Yeah I guess." I said as I let a small yawn escape as I stretched my arms.

"You look really tired Lance, you sure you got enough sleep, and weren't just up most of the night without knowing it?" He asked as e looked at me with a frown again.

"Nah, I got too much sleep, it's keeping my body tired. I said I'd be fine." I answered, looking at him with an ever so rare small smile.

"Well, now that's a little better Lance, you smiled, it's the first time I've seen you smile." He said, a smile pulling at his lips as he laughed at his comment.

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**I hope you all liked the first chapter! I will try to update soon, I really will, but sadly, a friend of mine died on the 20th of March, Monday morning in a car accident. I'll be a little depressed for a while since my dad also previously died in December… Thanks for reading, and I'll see you all next chapter!**


	2. Unknown Attractions

**Hey everyone, thanks for being so patient with me. I had the main computer I was using to type this crash and I had to wait forever to get it fixed. So I sigh and cry, but alas I must make this chapter short due to plot purposes. I hope you all can forgive me for this. **

I was silent and my mouth was wide open in awe, how could I have smiled? I looked at Riku, he was grinning at my stupid face… I felt like I wanted to just run off, but decided it better to try to shake off the surprise over a few minutes. My thoughts were as suspected, should've run when I had the chance, instead, I had to put up with Riku for the next twenty minutes it took to get to my room.

"I'm gonna get ready for bed okay? See you tomorrow, or whenever." I closed the door to my room quickly and let out a sigh, Riku was definitely getting to my brain.

It wasn't going to be easy to ignore him either… It seemed like every time I would try to ignore him, he'd just keep going until it got to me or he was satisfied with whatever results he got out of me. I figured that I really could use some sleep, this would piss me off if I kept thinking about it for too long. Things always pissed me off if I thought on them for too long.

I slipped out of my clothes only leaving on my boxers and crawled into the bed tiredly. I had thought about all that had happened that day and as I drifted off into sleep, my last images were of Riku.

Why?

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"Lance, hey, get up you sleepyhead." I heard a young but firm voice just inches away from my ear and pulled the covers over my head, in an attempt to stop the sounds.

"Laannccee…" The voice came again, only a little softer this time, and _very _close this time.

I finally knew who it was, Riku… wait, why was he in my room? I thought silently under the covers then almost jumped when I felt a hand on my back.

"Lance, I know you're awake under there…" He said as he sat on the corner of my bed.

And of course he was right, but I wouldn't let him gain the satisfaction of it. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore him, tried to drift back off to sleep, but as one would suspect, I couldn't and was forced to peek a tired eye out from under the covers.

"What do you want? I'm tired, leave me alone…" I said with a yawn as I attempted to pull the covers over my head and having Riku stop me.

"I want you to get up Lance, I was sent out on a mission last night while you were asleep." Riku said this as if he had been lonely on his mission, he might have been, but was that really _my _problem?

"Really? What for, another princess?" I said, sitting up and stretching.

"Yeah, I had tried to get you awake, but you're a heavy sleeper at one in the morning." He made a sad face then looked at me.

"What?" I looked back at him with a cocked eye.

"Nothing, well at least you're awake now. Get up and get dressed, Ansem had his servants make breakfast…" Riku shook his head as he walked out the door. As if Ansem never had his servants make food before.

I stood up and stretched a little bit more then walked over to my dresser and pulled out a new pair of clothes for the day. I dressed quickly and turned to the door, then remembered. I went into the bathroom and found a comb, running it through my hair I quickly ran to the door and stepped out.

"Ready Lance?" Riku said as I walked at a slow pace, trying to stay out of a long conversation.

"Yeah, tired though" I let a yawn escape from my mouth as I looked around for a clock. "What time is it?" I asked as I looked at him, my eyes scanning him for a sign of change.

"It's about," He paused. "Eight thirty I think." He said, he seemed to be reviewing his answer to himself, and must have thought it was right.

"Oh ok, then I'll be fully awake in about an hour then." I said as we turned a corner and headed into the main dining hall.

"You okay?" Riku looked as if I had gotten sick all of the sudden.

"Yeah, why?" I was a bit uneasy having people who were worried about me, I was always the one being ignored by everyone and everything.

We walked towards the large mahogany table in the middle of the room and took seats on the opposite sides of the table. The table had many different types of food on it, as well as desserts of all sizes and flavors. Too much food for my liking, I hated to have a lot of food in the same place at the same time, one meal was enough for me. This much food was just sickening, and it was all very bright, unlike the rest of the castle and Riku and myself.

"Ugh, that's a lot of food…" I said as I grabbed a piece of toast and took a bite out of it.

"Lord Ansem usually doesn't give us that much food, I think he's trying to say we should take what we know won't spoil with us, but that's just my opinion." Riku said, trying to sound like he knew everything, again…

"Or maybe it's his way of saying that we did well on the last mission we were on." I said as I took another bite out of my toast.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. That might be the case…" Riku said with a laugh as he took a bowl of cereal and poured milk into it.

"Why would he congratulate us with food though? I mean, I certainly don't eat much." I said, my voice wavered a little as I stifled a yawn.

"I don't either, maybe he's planning something? He's been doing a lot of that lately." Riku smirked, he always knew what Ansem was planning since he was his right hand man pretty much.

I thought about what could be going on and decided not to worry, Ansem had to know what he doing… Or did he?

"So, what are we supposed to do? Did he say that we should see him after this?" I asked Riku these questions with a low voice, he seemed to be thinking deeply about this conversation.

"He didn't say anything, just that we should come here and eat breakfast, he said nothing about plans, or whether or not we should see him." Riku got a confused look on his face and looked towards a silver clock on the wall.

I looked towards the clock on the wall, almost noon… Ansem had told Riku that there was food a little late, normally the food would be delivered to our rooms, or we got it ourselves. Ansem was definitely doing something different today, what it was neither me nor Riku could tell. I looked towards Riku again and studied his expression, he was thinking terribly hard about this and it confused me to no end as I thought of what to say next.

"Then we should probably go see him then, maybe something happened…" I stood up and walked towards the door, pausing to wait for him to follow me. "Let's go Riku." I said, then walked out the door into the hallway that lead to the Castle Chapel.

I walked down the hallway slowly, the sound of my own footsteps the only noise until I heard a chair move in the main dining room and footsteps clicking down the hallway after mine making my ears ring a little bit.

It didn't take Riku long to catch up, but as soon as he did a scream was heard coming from the main tower of the Castle Chapel.

"Get away from me! What do you want with me? Tell me!" A girl's voice came ringing down the hallway and Riku and I ran towards it quickly.

We slammed the doors open as we entered the main tower, Ansem had a girl chained to one of the walls and was sitting in a chair in front of her as she struggled to get free.

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**Once again, thank you all who have waited so long for this chapter. Please, read and review. Nekomi needs some motivation….T-T**


	3. Unleashed feelings

**Hooray, the much-anticipated third chapter. I am happy that I've even made it this far, I tend to loose interest in things easily so this is a good thing for me. I forgot to say that I do not own Kingdom Hearts in my last chapter so this is for both. And I DO own Lance and the "unknown girl" whom you'll see at the start of the chapter and throughout the story from here on. Please enjoy and review! **

_P.S. You'll also learn more about Lance's past in here so be prepared for the worst O.o_

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What was Ansem doing to this poor girl? Having her chained to a wall like that and not even doing anything to make her comfortable. She looked scared, but that was not my concern, girls were weak and did not know the true meaning of anything. What pissed me off was that Ansem had told us that there was breakfast made and didn't tell us we were to have a _girl _here.

"Lord Ansem." Riku and I said in unison as we dropped to one knee. Of course, this to us was not the time for formalities.

"I have been waiting for you boys. We have a new addition to the group and you are to train her… She's quite a feisty one, almost escaped the first time I had her in here." Ansem said this all with ease, he had no reason to care whether or not this girl even wanted to stay here.

"But Lord Ansem, we have had everything under control here as it is, training a girl will only delay our already set plans." Riku said as he walked over to the girl quietly.

These plans had been kept a secret from even me as I had not been trusted from the very beginning, Riku had planned on telling me the plans so that I would know why I was doing what I was. He trusted me, Ansem however did not… I knew that if Ansem found out that I knew what the plans were he would punish Riku severely.

Riku liked to show that he was not to be disrespected and looked at the girl as she was silently trying to get free of the chains that bound her to the wall. He walked close to her and played with a lock of her brown-blond hair pulled into two ponytails on each side of her head. She looked like she was already a heartless, as if she had already succumbed to the darkness. She wore a black skirt that shone purple in the light and a tight fitting faded black tank top.

I knew Riku was just trying to scare the girl and decided it best to let him have his fun with her as he would probably leave her to me since I was already a decent fighter.

The girl looked at me with frightened eyes as I walked up beside Riku, I only looked at her for a second, but she seemed to be more afraid of all the shadows that were twitching and slipping across the dark corners of the room than of us.

Riku looked at me and smiled, he looked like he was thinking up a somewhat evil type of plot. I let out a sigh and crossed my arms as he looked at me with his sly grin.

"What are you up to Riku…?" I said quietly trying not to get too big on the topic in front of Ansem.

"Just a little scheming that's all…" He replied in a low voice, we were talking behind Ansem's back or, at least he couldn't hear us then.

I let out another sigh as I leaned against the same wall the girl was chained to and looked at Ansem.

"So what do we have to do with her? She doesn't look very strong…" I said lightly, the girl seemed angry at my sudden insult, though she had been quiet since Riku and I had arrived.

"Train her. She'll be of good use to us later on and we'll need more heartless minions after a short time, what with the keyblade master getting closer every second. We still need to capture the rest of the princesses before he gets to them and stops our plans.

"And you think _she'll _be of use to us Lord Ansem?" I said as I pointed to my left at the girl chained to the wall.

"Anyone could be of use to us in this part of the plan, we need as many soldiers as possible so that the keyblade wielder cannot pass through and stop our plans before we can get the princesses and open the Door to the Darkness." Ansem explained, I had known that this was our main objective, but how would princesses be able to open the door, weren't they a source of light?

The possibilities played through my head quickly and I figured it would be easier to give up now and ask Riku about it later.

I huffed, this was going to be a long week… and I did not want to waste it with some_ girl_…

"Understood Lord Ansem, I will see to it that these orders are carried out." Riku said quickly before I could open my mouth to object any further.

The girl seemed scared of the fact that two boys would be teaching her things for a while. Riku and I didn't get her down from the wall either; she would have to stay there until Lord Ansem let her down and told her what to do.

I would probably be seeing her tomorrow…

Damn.

"Lance?" Riku waved his hand in front of my face and I snapped back to normal, apparently I had stopped walking in the middle of the hallway and stared at nothing while being lost in my thoughts.

I usually didn't do that…

"You okay Lance? You spaced out there for a minute." Riku asked as he got close to look me in the eyes to see if I would lie.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nodded and he let out a sigh.

"That girl's gonna be a problem, I can already feel it…" He said as we started walking again, towards the huge double doors that led into the many halls of the castle.

"I know, what was Lord Ansem thinking? Letting in a girl that he just found in another world… It's insane." I said, Riku nodded in agreement.

We kept on our path towards the training room where we would talk about the plans that Ansem had been thinking up. It was a soundproof room so that no one in the castle could hear the cries of pain as people fought and trained in there. Not that there were ever many "people" in this castle, but at one time there HAD to be… though I didn't mind, I liked the dark loneliness of the castle.

"He's been up to some weird stuff lately, I don't even know how much longer I'll be able to understand his plans." Riku stated as he leaned against the wall on the west side, the wall farthest from the door and closest to the weapons rack.

"So what has he been up to lately? He never tells me anything about the plans or about what has already happened." I stated quietly, as if the walls had ears, and technically, they did.

The shadows always reported quickly to Ansem if they heard any talk that could lead to betrayal. I had to be careful not to release too much of my curiosity into the conversation for fear that the shadows would report me to Ansem.

"His plans are all to meet one goal, to open the Door to Darkness. To open it, he needs all seven of the princesses of heart, the princesses we have been kidnapping." Riku said as his eyes scanned to walls, probably looking for any sign of unwanted heartless company.

"Sounds a little strange though, I mean what is he looking to find when he opens it anyways?" I said, sounding a little more curious than I usually was.

"I don't know the answer to that one Lance… He never told me exactly _why _he wanted to open it so badly." Riku's expression changed to that of worry and maybe even a twinge of fear.

I walked over to the wall he was leaning on and sat down, leaning my back against the hard rocky surface and letting out a sigh. Riku looked at me oddly afterwards.

"You okay Lance? You seem a bit…depressed." He said as he sat down on the floor next to me and looked at me with concern.

I moved over a bit, distancing myself from him by at least two and a half feet.

"It's nothing… just remembering old memories that were better off forgotten…" I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, Riku had an even more worried look on his face now.

"Is it… about your family?" His voice was low, he knew that I probably didn't want to talk about it, but he wanted to know, to find out why I was so depressed.

"Eh… Yeah…" I said quietly as I stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room.

"Oh, you gonna be okay?" He said as he moved in front of the area I had been staring at to look me in the eyes.

I snapped out of my depression stage quickly and stood up without hesitation. I moved away from the wall and headed towards the door, I didn't even try to look back at him as I opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

"Lance, wait up." He said as he stood up and ran after me as I walked down the hallway.

I ignored him and kept walking. I wanted to get away from this for a while so I could think over all of my actions and put up mental barriers in my mind so that the memories wouldn't come back so suddenly anymore.

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and I was spun around, I felt my back connect with the hard hallway wall and came face to face with Riku who did not look very happy. My back throbbed a little where the main contact with the wall would probably leave a large bruise and I tried to squirm out of his grasp.

"Lance you really need to talk about your problems instead of keeping them all inside and making yourself hurt so much!" Riku said as he looked me in the eyes to make sure I was listening.

"Why? This isn't any of your concern, you have no right to tell me what to do!" I said as I shoved him away from me and took off down the hallway. He chased after me quickly.

Damn, he's persistent.

I ran into my room and slammed the door shut locking it quickly behind me. I leaned against the door and slid down onto the floor breathing hard.

"It's no use having a door Lance… even if it's locked." Riku's voice came and I knew he was creating a portal into my room with the darkness.

I kept my gaze at the floor and pretended not to notice him coming into my room, I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them once more. I could feel his saddened gaze ripping at my side as I kept quiet and pushed the thoughts of my past aside.

"Lance you know you won't be able to keep your problems from me for long don't you? I don't want to have to ask you again to tell me what's wrong with you." Riku said as he knelt on the floor next to me.

"Just leave me alone… I don't need anyone around to try and ask what's wrong with me." I kept my voice low, though I couldn't bring it any higher even if I wanted to, Riku was getting too close and on my nerves every second that passed.

His hand reached out, I shuddered and backed away quickly leaving him with his correct presumption, something _was _wrong with me. Something was wrong and I didn't want to tell him about it, for all those years I had been alone. For all those years I blamed myself for my family's death and I wouldn't let anyone know why I was so hateful and distant from the rest of the human race.

"Lance, tell me what's wrong with you… I want to help you if I can and I won't know how if you won't tell me what's wrong." Riku said as he looked at me, worry showing through every expression.

"I… I… have no one…" The tears ran down my cheeks and onto the floor as the memories of my past played through my mind over and over everything I hated being shown before me in a horrible pattern.

_Past_

"_Bye bye brother Lance! We'll be home right after my show okay?" Kaylie said as she and mother and father walked out the door to go to the ballet performance Kaylie was supposed to dance in. _

_I had stayed home because of a kid at school, who had previously threatened to burn down our house. I had stayed behind, worried that he might try to do it while me and my family were out. So I sat there, the television was on and I had wished I had told my parents to stay home with me so that it wouldn't be so lonely. I had no friends at school and no pets either so I was lonely without my younger sister around. _

_Kaylie had always dreamed of being a ballerina and had gotten very good at it for her age at the time and I had always supported her and gave her reassurance if she thought she wasn't going to make it to ballet school. I had promised her that I was going to go to that performance of hers so that I could see all of the beautiful dancing she had worked so hard to get right, but I didn't, I stayed home, afraid that some stupid kid was going to burn down my house. _

_I could've gone with them, could've watched my sister's performance and died happy, but no. I had broken my promise to her, the one thing she wanted me to do most in the world for her, the **only **thing she had ever wanted me to do for her. That was when it happened, I was thinking about how wonderful her performance had gone and that they would be home soon, I had been flipping through the stations on the television when I saw it, my family's car smashed to pieces in a ditch and an ambulance and police in a hurry to save my family. I had ran out the door barefoot the ditch was nearby, up a few streets and across the highway and park that me and my sister always used to play in. _

_I ran across the street almost being hit by several cars and getting splashed with the water from the previous hour's rain. I ran to the ditch where several police had tried to block people from getting through to see what had happened. The news crews were filming every minute of it and getting the crowd of people to settle down a little bit. _

_I burst out into tears as I saw my mother, practically ripped apart on a stretcher being rolled to the ambulances. I ran towards the ambulance and was stopped by a large policeman who held me back as I struggled to get to my mother and the rest of my family that was currently also being taken to the ambulances on stretchers. _

"_Mom! Kaylie! Dad! Let me go! Those are my family!" I screamed as I struggled to pry myself from the police officer's grasp. _

_The police officer howled as he grabbed his hand after I bit it and took off towards the ambulance that my mother and sister had been put in. I jumped into the ambulance quickly only to be pulled out by the angry officer that I had bitten and slapped across the face by him. A cut formed down my cheek from the large ring he had worn when he slapped me, the blood ran down my cheek and tears streamed down my face as I punched the police officer and jumped back into the ambulance as the paramedics closed the doors and drove off. _

_The paramedics in the ambulance looked at me sadly, they seemed to be nice people and I asked them if my family was okay. They frowned; their expressions telling me that something was wrong, that my family wasn't okay and that they might not live or were already dead. My expression turned grim, I went over to my mother's side and put my hand on hers feeling that it was cold as ice. I knew what this meant, my mother was dead, my father and sister probably were as well. I turned and looked to my sister who looked horrible; blood covered her face and body and her eyes were shut tightly. _

_End Flashback_

My eyes were wide, the tears were flowing and I wanted them to stop, I wanted to be alone and to never see anyone ever again, and most of all I wanted my family back.

"Lance? ...Lance? Hey Lance!" I could hear Riku's voice calling my name and I couldn't bring myself to answer him and stop my tears.

"LANCE! Snap out of it!"

"Huh?" I couldn't speak and as soon as I figured out where I was I felt his lips crash into mine.

My eyes widened as I realized that he was kissing me.

Wait…

What the hell?

My brain practically shut down and I froze. This was not happening, it couldn't be. Not with him and not like this at this time. I looked at Riku, his eyes were shut and I saw a tear run down his cheek. He pulled away and my mouth dropped open in awe as the tears kept coming down my cheeks.

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**Sorry to leave this chapter like this, but hey, I reached my limit and I just HAD to get this out since it was so much later than I had planned to update. I look forward to MANY reviews. I might not be able to keep writing without more motivation from all you guys. Thanks for reading! I'm looking for at least a total of 20 reviews before I update next so if you want to continue reading you'll have to help me out.**


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